Taking a plunge into fitness can bring more discomfort than a dive into frigid water.
Most people who have neglected fitness over the years, yet sincerely want to begin again, suffer second thoughts of acute embarrassment and uneasiness. They not only think they will look silly rigged up in sports clothes, but are understandably reluctant to expose their droopy shapes in public.
My sympathy goes out to all my patients as they mentally gird themselves for this foray. Make no mistake about it, this takes guts. A small portion of their self-downgrading thoughts are on a reality basis. They do look dumpy. But most of their fears are as unrealistic as the self-conscious teen-ager aware of a ”gigantic” pimple scarcely visible to the casual observer.
Several hints for avoiding embarrassment should be mentioned.
First, wear clothes that are somewhat floppy. Not only do such clothes act as billows in getting rid o£ heat, they obscure bulges which soon will disappear. Only show-offs and Muscle Beach boys wear leotards.
Second, work out in private. There is no need to conduct your workouts atop the bandstand in the town common. Begin your program in seclusion. Tell no one about your plans. The more people you confide in, the more people will hoot at your absurd notions. Later they will enjoy a second round of laughter when you fail to follow through. As with obesity, fitness is your own business—no one else’s. Make your beginning as easy as possible—and long-term success will be enhanced.
Exercise in the cellar or in the attic. Use the secret area at the YMCA for sagging middle-aged businessmen who prefer to work out by themselves, unobserved by youthful athletes. Swim in the public pool where there is always someone who looks worse. Go cycling in the next community and with someone who also needs external redecorating. If you have a few extra dollars, remold your unpleasant curves on a two-weeks’ sojourn to a distant resort. Another few dollars gain you access to an urban health club, where all customers have a long way to go. After a couple of sessions the embarrassment will evaporate. At that point you will wonder why you ever were uneasy. But to get to that point is a giant hurdle. People do not want to be caught doing something different, even if it is healthful.
As a final note on training for fitness, your workouts may occasionally be the subject of community comment. As you cycle leisurely through the countryside, eight teen-agers in a six-passenger convertible may offer helpful suggestions, such as “Get a horse, Pop.” Or, as you strike out briskly for a hike around town, your next-door neighbor, sandwiched between a chaise longue and a heavy layer of Sunday newspaper, may encourage you not to get lost. And as the ultimate insult, as
has happened to me, a prowl car may sidle up to you with muffled queries emitted from the inside as to whether you are trying to escape from some nefarious act. Do not feel obliged to rebut or reply. Your comments will be poorly received.
You see, these witty and vocal people suffer from flaccid eardrums as well as flaccid muscles. Time wounds all heels. Although recognition is not your goal, you will constantly be looked upon with awe even by cynics who have laughed the loudest. Others who secretly envy your success will buttonhole you in the coatroom or nudge you into a corner at a cocktail party with the universal question:
“A friend of mine wants to get in shape. What should I tell him?” Sneaky question—the “friend” is invariably the interrogator, who does not want to admit this. The temptation is to give a forthright detailed answer. Don’t! Offer a couple of tantalizing hints—then suggest that his “friend” join you on the morrow for a “fun” workout. If he sleeps off his glow and still has the courage to appear for the appointment, be sure it is indeed a simple “fun” workout—but rigorous enough to ensure him a good sweat and immense satisfaction. You have won a convert—good for his muscles and your soul.
Fun, release, freedom, change, and exertion are a workout. But do not destroy a workout by ignoring the above safeguards. Unencumbered by mucus, blisters, sprains, and cramps, you can gradually increase your tolerance to “bloody devil limits,” and only the sportsman knows what this feels like.
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